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I didn’t want to say starting over because starting over would mean leaving the past behind.  I’m just starting fresh.  Acknowledging the past; looking forward to the future.

There are certain events in a person’s life that the rest of their life is determined by.   Something important, tragic, wonderful, exciting happens.  And from that point forward, everything is “After” or “Before” the experience.

I just had one.

Without getting into it, because that’s not what this is for, just know that I’ve tried to forget.   But I can’t.  It’s all I think about- it consumes me.  Most people learn that they’ve conceived before they find out they’ve lost the baby; not after.  Someone told me that I don’t have the right to be sad because I didn’t know it was happening until after it was already gone.  So my feelings of loss are irrelevant.

25-30% of pregnancies end in miscarriages but only 10-15% of those women actually knew they were pregnant.  In many cases women don’t even find out they conceived until they after being late, they have an extremely heavy period.  In my case I just never got my period, to this day I still don’t have it.